I'm preparing my gear for Courtney + Koal's wedding today and wanted to share some photos of what I've been up to. It's been a crazy 3 months. TONS of weddings, magazine shoots, and life. Just plain life. I haven't blogged much, I haven't "Hey snapchatters" much, heck, I've barely shared any images on Instagram. I want to. I truly do, but life has been hard.
I lost a friend earlier this summer. Actually, before the summer even began. He took his own life and it's shaken me up in a way I did not expect. A part of me hesitates to even share this here because I feel tremendous guilt. TREMENDOUS for feeling this way, when imagine how his family feels? His wife? His kids? His mom? UGH...it just breaks my heart.
Each month I feel a wave of sadness grip me and grabs me and I suck in my breath and realize I've lived while he hasn't. I cope OK. But I just can't shake the sadness for a few days. I pray about it. I pray for him. I pray for his family. I try and remember, we live in the "here and now" and that eventually, NONE OF THIS WILL MATTER. Only God and HIS kingdom do, but I'm of the flesh and it does matter now. It's affecting me now. I have trouble getting past the HUMP. So, I choose physically and consciously to embrace the opportunities that come my way. To try and take it a day at a time, the people I meet, the love I get to photograph, ALL of it. And each time I see a smile, feel some love, hug someone, even pet a furry friend, I think about my friend. And I say his name and a prayer for him.
Hug someone today.